Saturday 20 February 2016

untitled

since 2012, i got to know the existence of instagram & twitter through my classmates. i started creating accounts & posted pictures / tweets almost everyday.

for the past few years, social media stand a very important part in my life, as i spend most of my time on my phone everyday.

little did i know, i was on the verge of losing something important, my relationship.

as i'll usually explore others' instagram, i tend to look through their profile.

i'll regard pictures of couples as relationship goals, pictures of skinny girls as body goals & pictures of pretty girls as face goals.

you know whats worse?

comparing yourself to others.

looking how happy couples look in their pictures, i realised that I've been setting high expectations in my relationship all along.

what i didn't manage to realise it that, i've been prioritizing on the wrong things all along.

instead of trying to improve myself physically & mentally around people i love, i've been focusing more on how to look better on the net.

new clothes. new makeup. new makeover.

what for?

instead of trying ways to improve my relationship, i've been focusing on how i can let others know about my relationship, & to be a relationship goals that people look up to.

 a relationship only involve both parties, why is there a need in letting social media be part of the relationship? why is there a need to post everything on the net? different relationships is different in their own ways. what's there to compare about? nobody is perfect.


even though i didn't mention about this at all, I've been relying on how many followers & likes i have on my social medias to make me feel better, or at times, worse.

I just felt so ashamed & disgusted by myself.

why did i became like this?

besides, i get affected easily by what others feel about me.

no matter how many times people told me to stay positive, even if it's just a hate comment that I've received on askfm, i get affected.

even though i tried to pretend that everything is fine, it's not.

made a decision last week to deleted askfm from my phone.

i don't wish to get affected by what others have to say about me. you cant expect everyone to likes the way you are. i don't deserve any of this negative vibes, nobody does. 

life your life the way you want it to be & love yourself.

dm me on instagram @bryanahuangx / twitter @bryanahuang / email me @ cursedstitchx@gmail.com for any enquiries.

Love,
Bryana Huang

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