everytime i went to hougang mall & kovan, i always hope to see him there. but, what can i do if i see him? go up to him & say hi? talk to him? cry infront of him? WHUT. nothing. until now, i've been crying occationally everytime i thought of him. everytime i saw a couple out there, all i thought is him. but everyone told me, an ex always remain as an ex. no matter how much you want him back, it's pointless, useless.
no matter how much tears you cried, he dont even give any fuck about you anymore.
yeah, to him, he think that " you are the one who choose to leave first, & i agreed " yes, im the one who asked for a breakup first BUT im srsly tired. everyday waiting for his message is like waiting for a pig to fly ( im not racist ok ) im always the one who starts the convo & he will always end the convo, by not replying. all i want was him to love me & care. IS IT VERY HARD? i dont blame him for anything, i really dont. it's just purely me who screw up every single thing, i dont even deserve him.
after my relationship with my ex, i tend not to trust anymore guys anymore. it's like " are all the guys like him? " someone once told me, a girl is made in life just to pleasure guys, and to get used. thats all.
i've been trying so so hard to forget him. my senior told me this " time will heal, trust me " . it's been fucking two months & my feelings for him still stays the same??
now i finally understand, treasure your loved ones when they're still around. it's too late to regret when they're gone.
i tried many ways to help myself get over him, such as to accept someone new, go out with guys, acting like a fuking whore. BUT NO. nothing changed.
" hold on to your happiness if you think it's worth it " is he even worth it..? if i continue waiting for him, will he ever come back..?
fuck feelings. srsly.
xoxo
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